Me: hey mama, what’s up?
Mama: sorry to bother you at work but I’ve got a problem with the computer and I just need your help for a minute
Me: ok, but I’m going into a meeting soon, what’s the matter?
Mama: Where does the internet go when I turn the computer off?
Me: I’m sorry?
Mama: where does it go?
Me: seriously? I’m at work, can this not wait until this evening?
Mama: Also, how does Google know how I’m going to finish my sentences. Is it watching me?
Me: Have you been watching enemy of the state again?
Mama: this is serious! What if They’re watching me.
Me: What are you searching for that would make people want to watch you?!
Mama: That’s not the point! So I just want to check that the internet turns off when I turn off my computer so they can’t follow me anymore
Me: We’ll have a conversation about what the internet is later ok, but no it doesn’t turn off with your computer.
Mama: Then how does it turn off? Because when it develops sentience and tries to take over the world, how do you pull the plug?
Me: you’re not allowed to read tabloids anymore. I’m going now.
For years my family has half joked that we have a poltergiest, a magpie, that steals jewellery. You'll take something off, put it down and find that it's disappeared when you go to pick it back up. Days or weeks later it'll reappear somewhere improbable. Years ago I lost a necklace that I was sure I'd taken off beside my bed. We found it, six months later inside a pillowcase as it was being folded from the dryer.
Mum took off her wedding ring while doing washing up and it was found three days later in the middle of the patio
My sister's lost bracelet reappeared in the middle of a floor that had just been vacuumed.
It's only ever jewellery and happens more frequently than can strictly be put down to carelessness.
All odd, but explicable without resorting to the supernatural.
When I was 18, my grandma gave me a ring that had belonged to her grandma before her and the metal was in such a state that it wasn't wearable, so I had the stone, a beautiful opal set into a pendant. It's utterly precious to me because of its history and I am more careful with it than anything else I own. It went missing in February after I took it off when I went to bed and put it in my jewellery box. I know the date because when I couldn't find it to wear for my dad's birthday just after, the bollocking I got from my mother was something special.
I found it today. Inside a medicine box bought in April (complete with receipt). Sealed.
Anyone got a good explanation for that because I'm shaking a little and trying to work out what the hell is going on.
In one sitting.
One day I'm going to write up an epic pimp post for why everyone should watch this show. This is not that day. So for now I'm just going to go to sleep thinking about the epic love story of Raylan and Tim and Rachel and how he cheated on them with Boyd with some Ava and Winona on the side.
This week could have been better.
Monday started off with the gp sending me to hospital after my abdominal pain got unbearable. X-rays, ultrasound and two surgeons later I was sent home to get worse before they'll do anything. I've been home all week feeling miserable.
Vladimir, the friendly gerbil was acting odd yesterday. Shivery and wide eyed and generally not looking great. I made sure he was all surrounded by bedding and went to bed expecting him to go in the night as he is 4yrs old. He was even worse this morning so to the vet we went where he confirmed there was nothing to be done.
Really, this week can totally screw itself.
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I started off with one very silly scene and next thing you know I have 2,300 words of unadulterated crack.
So here you go - what happens when Steve decides that Cosmo is the font of all relationship wisdom and then Kono gets involved.
( I'm so sorry )
So Steve's in a waiting room, hanging around trying to outstare the infants while he waits for the doctor to see him because Danny told him he wasn't allowed to stitch up any more bullet wounds himself and he's aimlessly flicking through Cosmo. He's busy scoffing at the suggestions, when a woman leans over and while her toddler drools happily on Steve's shirt, she tells him that she utterly swears by it, best relationship advice on the planet comes from that magazine.
I mean, he's always been told he's emotionally constipated and he has no clue how a real relationship works, namely one that isn't conducted clandestinely in the middle of a war zone, so why not, he's going to give this a shot...
I just want to see the puzzlement when it doesn't work, and Steve's tried randomly flashing Danny, wearing revealing clothes to lounge on the sofa, faking a powercut so they have to sit in candlelit rooms, and trying to play with his hair. Also, Kono is totally egging on this behaviour, because she thinks its fucking hilarious and keeps sending him suggestions which are guaranteed to work.
I have visions of faeries sighing in disappointment and shaking their heads sadly.
This def tops the email I got with instructions on how to do something that ended 'a walla!'
If there are any french speakers on my flist I can only apologise for the utter mangling of your language.
me: You have? what are they called (nervous as he only really listens to music created before 1900 or between 1960 and 1985)
The papa: Arctic Patrol, they're really quite good
me: Arctic Patrol? are you sure? I don't think I've heard of them
The papa: Hold on, maybe not Arctic Patrol, Snow Monkeys? Is that them?
At this point i was giggling helplessly. I really *really* want to form a tribute band now called either of those that solely performs mashups. Also upon playing a couple of greatest hits from both of them, he announced neither were who he was thinking of.
No particular reason why, and despite the fact that work is driving me potty, i am just happy.
My flat is full of flowers. I have delphinium and peonies and roses and little daisies in vases all over the place, i have four orchids in bloom, the hydrangeas are the most magnificent colour i've ever seen and the jasmine smells perfect enough that i want to bury my face in it every time i walk past.
By some miracle, the two geriatric gerbils are still alive, even if one was bleeding from the eye and the other was bleeding from the ear yesterday. All patched up now and seem to be perfectly happy.
I have been cackling maniacally while creating macros for here - http://50texts.tumblr.com/ - and in general loving on 5-0 pretty damned hard.
I have been to a glorious gig (abigail washburn, banjos and beauty galore), movies that made me squee (thor and xmen), tomorrow is seeing love never dies and a boy that makes me smile and the sun is shining (although not right now, it's 1am, that would be strange at this latitude)
Generally speaking and for the first time in longer than I can remember, all is right with the world. Tell me the good stuff that's happening with you?
WE BELIEVE IN THE BOOK. We believe in quieting the noise and listening
to the stories. We believe in traveling far and wide between paper
pages. We believe in touching the words, scribbling in the margins, and
dogging the ears. We believe in surrounding ourselves with books long
finished and books not yet read; in revisiting our younger selves each
time we pull old favorites off the shelf.
We believe in five-year-olds inking their names in big letters
on the flyleaf. We believe in becoming someone else for four hundred
pages. We believe in turning off the screens and unplugging the
networks once in awhile. We believe in meeting the author, reading the
footnotes, looking up the words and checking the references. We believe
in holding our children on our laps and turning the pages together.
We believe in standing shoulder to shoulder in comfortable
silence with our fellow citizens before a good shelf of books; we
believe in talking face to face with friends and strangers in the
aisles of a good bookstore. We believe that together, readers, writers,
books and bookstores can work magic
Save the world. Buy a book.
Two posts in less than an hour after months of silence, I know try not to pass out...
So, Hawaii five-0 has taken over my brain. I was bored a month or so back and everything else I watch was on hiatus so I thought why not? And ended up mainlining all the eps in a very short space of time. My love for the crazy and the bromance knew no bounds and then I found myself mainlining ALL THE FICS. not even joking, I have now read everything on ao3. I know, it's a sickness.
So yesterday was the first ep I've seen live as it were and people, I... I just don't know anymore. There was so much awesome and yet so much dialogue that was clunky and made me feel that if it was a fic I'd have hit back. I just want to go and find them a good beta.
Also, for the first time since xfiles I am filled with bunnies. I've sketched a fic where someone uses grace's sparkling body wash, where Steve is a bamf and there's running and jumping and shooting, a crazy au I'm even embarrassed to mention and oh so many more ideas.
In short, show, you may be kind of crap, but you're *my* crap and I heart you.
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So driving to work today I passed a van saying 'Eames and Son building contractors'. Please, please tell me fic exists where Eames is hanging off scaffolding wolf whistling at Arthur? Think of the potential with builders bum!
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
I hope this coming year brings you joy and love and friendship. I hope you are lucky and that you make your own luck and it brings you all you could wish for.
I have decided that this year will be a good one. I will find health and happiness, I will meet new and interesting people and experience things that I want to remember forever. I am going to make sure that my job makes me want to get up in the morning and I have something to look forward to in the evenings when I get home. Every day I will do something that makes me smile.
So this year I must have been an amazingly good girl because I was showered with gifts. Wonderous, amazing gifts. Gifts that you should all go and read.
First, I got a magnificent Wire fic of joy and love - Come At The King It has Greek myth, and Omar growing up and the character voices are just so. damned. perfect.
Then! I got another wire fic! Fine Dining in Baltimore with Avon in prison! Keema and Bunk! The most perfect Carver in all the world and a Dukie that will make you weep. So much love for this I can't even say.
I also got two sports night madness treats - Five Out of Seven and Never Bet a Cheat which were both fantabulous looks at Danny and Casey. Five out of Seven has football and banter and extra special bonus kissing and Never bet a cheat has snark and grumpiness and lost bets and they're both such a perfect look at the different aspects of their relationships that it makes me squeal with joy.
Last, but by no means least was this - Take Two Goes Much Better, Just FYI - a sequel to this - Cold Light - epic Haven fic of such grandeur it can't be put into words. It is Audrey and Nathan and Duke and is so hot you will find that you need to sit back and fan yourself lest you combust. It's such a perfect evolution of their relationships that I can see this being acted out on screen. Obv the US tv system might need to increase it's ratings a bit or move Haven to a later time slot, but still. SO WONDERFUL.
In more general terms, on my potter through the archives I can also rec the following
Five Times The Xenophobe Almost Dumped Its Crew And One Reason It Didn't. - a gorgeous peek into Iain M Banks culture via the Mind of a Ship. The tone is so spot on it could be one of his short stories.
Further recs will follow as I've just realised that my list of fics is on the other computer. of course.
HI! I am so excited that one of my requests is going to get written I can barely contain the squee.
I am hideously easy to please, seriously, i embarrass myself sometimes, and am the very definition of eclectic tastes. I can't think of one genre or subgenre of fic that I don't love, from five things to pwp and apocafic to ballerina AUs, and
A previous letter is here http://everywherestars.livejournal.com/
All of my ideas and suggestions below are just that, so write what you're happiest writing and I'm positive I'll love it. OPTIONAL DETAILS ARE OPTIONAL
Richard Marx - Hazard - Boy, Mary
Request - I'd love to read anything that explores anything mentioned in the song. His early childhood, what really happened to Mary, what happened to him after? Did he *really* leave her by the river? I can't decide whether I think he killed her or if he was totally innocent, so wherever you go with it is entirely up to you.
Further details - I really *really* want to know what happened to Mary. Every time I hear this song i have a sense of unfulfillment, did she run away? did he kill her? did someone else get to her? what happened to him after? He swore he left her by the river! How could she just leave like that, it was love! And yes, I know I'm a little overly invested in a melodramatic ballad from the early 90s, but Poor Mary and poor man, shunned since childhood, what did he ever do to deserve that? *sobs quietly*
Haven TV- Audrey, Nathan, Duke
I love this trio utterly, whether as friends or romantically. Their snark and spark and banter just makes my heart sing. Any explorations of the relationship between them would be wonderful, be it on a new case or hashing over the last scene of the last episode or trying to work out if Duke can make Nathan feel too. Bonus points for lighthearted bickering.
Further details - If ever there was an OT3 that stole my heart, this was it. I absolutely love the relationship between Duke and Nathan and Audrey. Other ideas from the ones in the request could be Audrey musing on these two men who she's let into her life or hijinks while Duke is trying to hide a crime from the others and failing utterly. Gen is perfectly great with this, but if you want to go with a relationship that's slightly more than pg-13, either new or established, that would be pretty awesome also.
Sports Night - Dan, Casey
Oh Dan and Casey, I just want to see more of you being you. At a ball game, when Casey finally gets Dan to see the Starland Vocal Band, sitting without pants on waiting for the show to start, writing a script or takeout after a show. Anything goes here, throw in an apocalypse or send them into space. Have them in an established relationship or write about their first kiss, or just how two men can be best friends for more than 20 years and not run out of things to talk about.
Further details - This is one of my fav fandoms in ever and having recently rewatched the entire series from beginning to end, my love has been renewed. With this fandom, snarky smart banter is king and if none of the above float your boat, then reading something that looks at what happened to the guys following quo vadimus would be awesome.
The Wire - Any
I had such a hard time trying to pick characters for this that I've gone with any in the end. And yes, I truly would be happy with any. If you feel like some small prompting, then these may not necessarily be the characters I *like* most, but McNulty, Stringer Bell, Bodie, Poot, Wallace, Dukie and Freamon are the ones that immediately pop to mind when I think about who I want to know more about. Go where the winds take you with this, so a turning point in McNulty's life where he decides that today he'll stop drinking, or a bit of an AU on how Stringer Bell managed to legitimise things and change the business, what Omar really wanted to do with his life, Bodie and Poot squabbling over something trivial, or maybe the school kids two grades on.
Further details - The Wire stole my heart and my breath away when I first watched it, and having the DVD boxset has just made me watch it over and over again. Any really does mean any here, and the suggestions above are what I conjured up in about 30 seconds. As an aside, I know this show used problematic language and I am perfectly happy with this in a fic as long as it’s not out of character, although feel free to exclude if it’s not something you’re comfortable with.
In the last 72 hours I have:
1) almost failed to get into a concert due to a freak ticketing mishap (venue has 'never seen anything like this before!')
2)Been told I have 'fabulous knockers' by a stranger on the street
3)Had a two hour trip to go for a walk in the woods take 10.5hrs, with a 4mile walk and 244 miles driven
4)There are currently seed pods from something raining down around my head. I have 21 seeds all over my desk and growing. I am indoors with the windows shut.
5)Both of the proprietary cables to charge my phone have broken in the same way, except with opposite ends of the cable snapping
6)The conversation with the tech guy to order replacements was one of the most traumatic of my life. He was in America and it was 1am, and I really, really think he thought he was having some bizarre nightmare and reacted accordingly to everything I said.
7)tried to put on my new gloves only to discover that when they were made someone sewed the fingers on one hand shut
8)got out my keys for the house to discover one of the tines had snapped off.
Whoever decided I need to live in interesting times, thanks for nothing...
Today I went to Butterfly World. It was lots of fun. I sawed butterflies and a caterpillar and i ated an ice cream.
Then I went home.